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Honey- I don't know how to start this letter. I love you and I know that you love me too, but I need you to understand how I am feeling. I know that I have been fighting with you a lot lately and I am sorry, its just that I am so mad at both you and myself. I wonder what would of happened if I said that I wanted to keep our baby...I know that you would of been supportive, but I didn't want to put you through that pressure, because I know what you wanted to do. "No you can't." I know that you are still hurting...I just don't know why we don't talk about it. I need someone to talk to. I feel so alone at times. If I could do it all over again, I would probably tell you that I wanted to keep it. You will never know exactly how I feel, because you never carried our baby inside of you. Our baby was totally dependent on me...and I let it down. It was my final decision, and I know that I could of decided to keep it, but I didn't. I hate myself for it. I feel like now I have lost so many experiences...I will always wonder about my first baby, what she (I believe that our baby was a girl) would of looked like, what she could of became, and everything about her...I wonder where she is. "Stop her, sir! Ting-a-ling-ling!" The headway ran almost out, and he drew up slowly toward the sidewalk. I know that you have been supportive and that you are trying to understand, but I need more. I need you to be willing to talk more. You always tell me that it is not my fault and that it was our best decision...that is not what I want to hear from you...I need you just to listen to me, tell me how you feel and hold me and let me cry in arms...just like you did when I found out that I was pg. S2JLSH8QzZUmEXkY5WwjAxN I love you, and I do not want this to ruin our relationship. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I need you to listen to me more...I need your help. I love you, Christy